Chapter summaries - IMITATORS OF GODImitators of God (Publication pending - Winter 2009)
"Be imitators of God, therefore, as dearly loved children and live a life of love, just as Christ loved us and gave himself up for us as a fragrant offering and sacrifice to God." - Ephesians 5:1
The following chapter summaries provide a brief synopsis of each one's overall theme and content. In their full version each chapter will include examples, illustrations and practical advice on implimenting the truths.
U.S. © 2008 – Rev. Mark Alan Quick
Chapter 6 – Stand by your man
“Wives, submit to your husbands.” / Ephesians 5:22
Pre-marriage counseling for engaged couples is a part of my pastoral ministry. Couples need to set realistic expectations. Unrealistic expectations will lead to disappointment and if disappointment is not checked then to disillusionment and in the worst cases divorce.
In order to head off the danger posed by unmet expectations and to help them adopt realistic ones, I ask the couple to engage in a simple exercise. I ask them to “Tell me what a perfect husband/wife looks like in your mind.” In all the years I have been asking that question there has been one answer that nearly every man has given as a characteristic of his dream wife – she will respect him.
One of the major office store chains, Staples, has an ad campaign which features an “Easy Button.” Men have a big red button on their heart and across it are written the letters R-E-S-P-E-C-T. No other action on the part of a wife can have more impact on her husband than encouraging his ego.
Paul tells wives they are to “submit to their husbands as to the Lord.” He says this is because “the husband is head of the wife just as Christ is head of the church.” God has ordained the husband to be the spiritual covering for the wife and family but he cannot perform that function without the respect and support of his wife.
Many wives will complain that their husband is not behaving in a respectable manner. We certainly do not understand Paul’s admonition to mean that a wife facing physical abuse or some other meaningful harm is to passively accept it. But we must remember the example of Christ. Being an imitator of God means we do not wait on the other person to change before we do what we are called to do. We do our part and trust God will do his.
Chapter 7 – Treat her like a lady
“Husbands, love your wives just as Christ loved the church.” / Ephesians 5:25
We men need to remind ourselves of what Paul tells wives – the husband is head. What does this headship involve? Too often, those in positions of authority see their status as an opportunity to lord over others. Husbands are called to be imitators of God in their relationships with their wives.
Jesus, Paul writes, “loved the church and gave himself up for her to make her holy, cleansing her by the washing with water through the word, and to present her to himself as a radiant church, without stain or wrinkle or any other blemish.” Jesus adds to the church. Jesus nurtures the church. Husband, what actions are you taking that will help your wife become the woman God called her to be? Do you pray for her or complain about her? Do you analyze what her needs are and strategize how you can meet?
Husbands who will become imitators of God are those who see their headship as a role of responsibility and facilitation, not of lordship.
Chapter 8 – Marriage: A marvelous mystery
“And the two will become one flesh … This is a profound mystery – but I am talking about Christ and the church.” / Ephesians 5:31-32
Married couples need to know or be reminded that the institution of marriage was God’s idea. And in his infinite mind God has willed that the interaction between husband and wife reflect deeper spiritual truths concerning his nature and that of the relationship between Christ and the church. No other relationship possesses the spiritual dynamics of biblical marriage. Husband and wife become one physically and emotionally through the act of sexual intercourse, share all property and live in daily intimate acquaintance like no other. Marriage is an institution ordained by God to reveal deeper spiritual truth.
Marriage challenges us to give of ourselves like no other relationship. We must put the interest of the other ahead of our own. It requires forgiveness and commitment to last. It is a covenant that reflects the heart of our covenant-making God.
Our everyday conduct in marriage can take on prophetic significance. John writes of how Mary, the sister of Martha and Lazarus, performed a beautiful act of worship. She took a pint of very costly ointment, poured it on Jesus’ feet and wiped his feet with her hair. Judas Iscariot rebuked her commenting that this ointment could have been sold and used to help the poor. Jesus rebuked him, “Leave her alone. It was intended that she should save this perfume for the day of my burial.” Mary was simply offering a heartfelt act of devotion in the context of a dinner held in Jesus’ honor. Her actions, however, took on prophetic weight pointing forward to Christ’s immanent death and burial. Our everyday conduct in marriage can take on prophetic significance as well. Our marriage can be a reflection of God’s attributes of love, commitment, faithfulness, purity, nurture, and unity. This is why we applaud couples who reach their golden wedding anniversary. We recognize longevity requires these virtues.
We understand also why adultery, pre-marital sex, and pornography are evil when we grasp this truth that marriage is a God-ordained institution intended to reflect his virtues. Sexual intimacy is the highest form of human intimacy and pleasure and God has reserved it for marriage. Sexual sin mutilates the design and image God ordained for marriage. This is one reason why sexual sin offends God.
Chapter 9 – The commandment with a promise
“Honor your father and mother … that it may go well with you.” / Ephesians 6:3
Honoring authority as Christ did is indicative of spiritual maturity and it is a goal imitators of God.
The act of submission has nowhere been better modeled than in Christ’s prayer at Gethsemane. Jesus faced his great suffering with a prayer that has altered the landscape of eternal history – and it was one of ultimate submission. “Jesus said to his disciples, ‘My soul is overwhelmed to the point of death. Stay here and keep watch with me’ … Going a little farther, he fell with his face to the ground and prayed, ‘My Father, if it is possible, may this cup be taken from me. Yet not as I will, but as you will,’” (Matthew 26:36-42). Just as Jesus submitted to his heavenly Father, we are called to submit to our earthly parents. And parents must train their children to rule their spirit and submit to authority – it is our parental duty.
Divorce is prevalent in our society. It may be encouraging for children who find themselves with step-parents to be reminded that Christ faced a similar situation, albeit not through divorce. God was his Father. Joseph, though not his biological father, raised Christ. Jesus showed him respect. Our step parent might not be our biological parent, but when we show them respect and courtesy as Jesus did Joseph we are imitators of God.
Chapter 10 – Bring them up
“Fathers, do not exasperate your children; instead, bring them up in the training and instruction of the Lord.” / Ephesians 6:4
Parents are God’s instruments to bring nurture, care and spiritual training to the life of children. Fathers, as the heads of their families, carry the primary responsibility for the religious training and instruction of their children. We fathers can learn something from our heavenly Father’s ministry in our own lives.
Fathers who want to imitate God will do several things. First, they will not exasperate their children. They will not be harsh with them. The interaction God-imitating fathers have with their children is focused on their good. The goals of a God-imitating father are to produce a harvest of righteousness and peace in the lives of his kids just as God our father does by disciplining us (Hebrews 12). The greater majority of children who receive loving discipline and godly training will develop godly character – righteousness. And they will be at peace because they will be mature and self-controlled. God-imitating fathers realize that it is their spiritual duty to train their children. Otherwise they are treating them as illegitimate.
This begins first by doing what God has done – setting clear guidelines for conduct. God’s Law is unchanging. It is impossible to obey an ever changing code. Second, it means giving appropriate understanding to the reasons behind the commands we lay down. Consider how much effort God expends in the Scriptures, particularly in the New Testament epistles, to helping us understand his motives and purpose. Third, it includes prayerful discernment in helping our children manage the successes, failures and hurtful events of life. The Hebrews text tells us to “endure hardship as discipline.” This means that God often works through circumstances to train us. Fathers can prayerfully use the circumstances of life to bring the reality of God’s Word and loving comfort to their kids. This chapter will provide practical advice on what to say and do to produce righteousness and peace in our kids.
